So this shipmate of mine somehow managed to throw up in his back pocket.
I'm actually glad you're quitting. Now there's one less person at work who's seen me naked.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
Where are you?! I require drunk, males and possibly crying. Vomiting is optional and/or optimal as is karaoke.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
So his 25th anniversary post of love to his wife was almost verbatim what he said to me last week. Does that mean I win or lose?
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
