if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
My brain and heart say thanks but my vagina isn't super pleased with you right now
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
How you run into a glAss door three times in a row I do not know
Randomize
