you're like a bully in the Christmas story
I'm too hungover for some lady to talk to me about potatoes
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
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