I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
I found the pot of gold last night, and it was full of bad decisions.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
just had to shower sitting down. i hope this isn't an indicator of how the rest of my week is going to go.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
Putting all my energy Into finding a polite way to ask my mailman to fuck me in his car.
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
