I thought you should know that you passed out in your trash can last night.
Thanks for throwing up on me.
My life would be so much easier if i could just ride around in the cash cab all day
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
I feel like ass. I'm missing 12 hours of my life and all I have to show for it is an empty wendys bag. Those Shrooms were too much... When do we do it again?
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I came in and she was laying on the ground just stoking it saying "the floor is where our feet step"
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize
