She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
the cashier at the gas station pulled a twig out of my hair and told me I should probably wash it before work....it was kinda sweet.
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
