The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
I swear a good massage is the easiest way in my pants.
Not that there's a hard way... but you know what I mean.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
Ick. That's not even the fun kind of punishment.
So what's the protocol on sending your exes new wife a baby shower gift that says "thanks for getting him the hell out of my life, please keep him there!"?
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Randomize
