it was like she wanted to be a once a week night stand
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
then she woke up from sleeping for an hour and the first thing she said was "i regret it already"
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All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
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He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
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