I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
I'm basically sure i was the reason for glitter on his penis
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
I just folded my boss's lingerie. I need a drink and a raise
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
Randomize
