oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
Not sure if your roommate speaks German while sleeping, or if she woke up, figured out we were fucking, and used German to swear at us.
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
I’m getting reeeeaaalll tired of telling cute boys I gave them chlamydia.
That’s two in three months. You really know how to live.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
