okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
he will always be the guy i fucked in the hallway.
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We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
I just woke up from quarter beer tuesdays wearing 3 pairs of underwear, none of which are the ones I left wearing...2 Around my waist and one around my shoulder in an attempt at a bra. At least drunk me tries to be decent?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
We were both too drunk to drive home. So we did it in the coat closet and then I walked home. 20/20 hindsight: Could have both walked to my apartment and then had sex there.
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They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
πππ what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
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