Hey you
You're the only one I'll text back during sex. what's up?
I think I died a long time ago.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
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You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
If you don't sing 'dust in the wind' at my funeral, I'll haunt you forever
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
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