i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
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Things we need. Powerade. Water in fridge. Mixers for vodka. And reality checks.
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I feel like we should apologize to the light saber. We were REALLY inappropriate with it last night.
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American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
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