she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
in the event that i am dead, my body is laying in the intersection of ... the pearl in springfield. it was my friend's 21st but i think i'm dead. wearing a black top. like i said, probably dead.
I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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