I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Right now, my father is sitting on the couch, totally smashed, crying, eating pringles, and watching the credits of Transformers 2. Love him.
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
Sorry girl, my dick is like a rollercoaster. You only get a picture after you ride
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
I will not fill you in on the details until we get back, so do not ask. I got peed on by the girl I was hooking up with last night.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
I'm going through our high school yearbook trying to find what boys I want to hook up with this summer. We graduated four years ago. That's a problem.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Best neighbors ever! They found the guy ive been wanting as a booty call and got me invited to the party the guy was at and gave me alcohol so i could be tipsy when met him. im never moving.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize
