no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
So im going to watch Hocus Pocus in my footie pajamas... How am I in college?
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Oh, I forgot to ask if u have any idea what happened to the back of my ear and if u were present when I almost fell off the roof...
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Did you cry?
I don't think so. I definitely lost my cool though
Yeah i think jesus would lose his cool in that situation
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
