with your own penis?
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
What kind of paramedic is he, some dude is dying back there and he's trying to get laid
you put your keys in the fridge so you wouldn't forget your yoohoo
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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