im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
Alright whatever you say... But in the future when you really wish you had a dildo don't come crying to me about it.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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