You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Let the clothes fall where they may.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Randomize
