oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Wondering when "babysitting" formed into "sleeping on the couch for five hours nursing a hangover and giving the kids Nyquil."
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
OH FOR FUCKS SAKE! SOMEONE TOOK ME FOR A GODDAMN PROSTITUTE!! IM WEARING LEG WARMERS!!! THAT IS LIKE THE LEAST HOOKERISH THING TO WEAR!
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Apparently last night I was doing back bends for the guy making my easy mac because clearly it wasn't easy enough for me.
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