either we just had an earthquake or I am really good @ masturbating
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
We held a candle light vigil outside the jail hoping for her release, until we realized we were drunk in the jail parking lot.
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I may or may not have just let Ash Ketchum capture my wild Pikachu in a parking lot.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Come on kid, foreplay is elementary stuff. It's a vagina, not a sphinx.
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize