Umm I'm too high to move.
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
Randomize
