It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Just heard the garage door open and I immediately sprinted to the laptop to erase history, even though I haven't watched porn today...I believe Pavlov now.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Sorry my hands just texted you
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
Technically, I traded a soft pretzel for sex last night...
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I’m making a jello mold of my penis
Will it be as disappointing as your actual penis?
Randomize
