i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
call of duty 2 was the straight man's twilight
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Remember that night I drank a bunch of vodka, pounded your Jameson because 'you were a pussy', punched you in the face and ran off as fast as my high heels could go? It was just my Russian and Irish sides fighting for genetic dominance
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Lusting after Beyonce when you're a lesbian is like having a crush on Jesus. You just don't do it.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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