I'm laying in your front yard are you home
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Piggyback rides are my preferred mode of transportation.
i went to go through my sent box of drunk texts from last night and they were all deleted... i'm going to assume drunk me made the executive decision that sober me would be better off not knowing what they said
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
