Apparently i was the first person to introduce her to her clitoris. Needless to say...they hit it off great
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
You will go out on a boat of flames filled with honor, sarcasm, and assholery, let me assure you.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Since moving to the suburbs, all I do is fuck my ex and watch cartoons. It's not so bad.
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