I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She told me I was absolutely not allowed to sleep with him even though she knows I'm a rule breaker who loves a good challenge.
90% sure I just opened a snapchat of you in a fuzzy bathrobe next to your ceiling collapsing
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
hey, cheif big dick, where the fuck are my panties.
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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