He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
She just sent me a picture of a heart. I need to stop fucking freshman...
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
Medically speaking as your gynecologist and your girlfriend, that is not a rash.
And we're breaking up
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
he walked off and puked in the sand. then he made a sand castle over it so that "it wouldn't upset the kids"
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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