my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
I feel as though I could trust her, I mean she did tell me she was married before we had sex.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I wanna send them a card but I don't think hallmark makes a "sorry your fiance and another girl blew me at the same time in a frat house but congrats!" card
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
Randomize
