youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
Do you remember what happened last night? All I could find we're phone numbers of strip clubs in Detroit. Did we go to Detroit?
Randomize
