i would totally change schools right now just to be that new girl everyone wants
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
when you tell me you got me a birthday present, I have to assume it will show up in a drug test.
HOLY SHIT HE'S TRYING TO EAT HIS FOOT. THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Last time I sleep with a guy with a penchant to fragrance his dick. Every time I sit to pee, I get a whiff of Axe body spray.
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
