So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
The window painters skipped us. They didn't know what to do with the giant SMOKE WEED in the window. So they just skipped it.
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
How proud should I be that I googled "dildo with wheels" and actually got the result I wanted?
Randomize
