What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
Just saw two guys having a lawn mower race, and their girlfriends cheering them on. Get me out of Tehachapi,
I never Thought the day id see a chick shove a 2liter up her vag. that happened last night
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
HIS TAN HAS PUT ME TO SHAME. HE TOOK HIS PANTS OFF AND HIS DICK LOOKED LIKE A GHOST
He let him chew on his fu man chew. The man has the patience of a saint
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
