Goodnight my chunky, little, marshmallow muncher
I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
If a fat man falls in the shower and nobody is in the apartment, does his pride still hurt? Answer: yes
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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