The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
She left you responsible for her guinea pig for what, 3 hours? And it somehow died under your care? I will no longer trust you with so much as a beer.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Randomize
