D3 body, D1 cock
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
We're trying to decide between cracker barrel an the ER
Well I'm 2 for 2 with the absinthe, I just woke up in some random car behind the bar
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
And then I went through the chix filet drive through for breakfast in all my republican post sex glory
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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