with your own penis?
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Drunk is not a location!
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Omg I just looked in my purse from last night.. 10 bags of gummy bears.
Randomize