Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
sent the pic of my tit to the wrong bbm chatroom
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
i love that feeling when you wake up and have no idea how you got back to your dorm or why you have mac and cheese on your cheeks and eyelashes in your mouth
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
A stoners worse nightmare? Well packaged snacks. Just took me 5 mins to get a cinnamon roll out of the package. And another 3 mins to properly type this text
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Randomize
