So, I'm about to rent a movie, order pizza, and use my vibrator.... Am I dating myself?
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Sometimes at I wake up from a dead sleep at 1am and call the bar just to hear the clink of the glasses and the pouring of the beer on tap in the backround
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
Randomize
