The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
we'll penetrate his innocence with our dicks
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I hope in my next life I'm a sterile trophy wife. With a husband who showers me in wealth and gifts but can't get a hard on. Do you think my karma is good enough for that?
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I am mentally ready for anal.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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