This girl added me on fb and has all these pics of her kissing her little brother saying i will love you forever. I'm creeped out.
maybe it's her son
thats not any better.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
I woke up with my name tag for work still on my shirt. It was a rough night.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
By the time I realized I was watching a Danish porno with muppets it was already too late
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Randomize
