I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
The gym has a pool
my gym membership just went from "way to get in shape" to "place to go swim when I'm high"
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I had to sit there with his three fat aunts talking about a bunch of 50 Shades knockoff books.
I felt like a taxi, but my meter was running up minutes he would be eating me out that night.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
Randomize
