You were partners with her mom and you began calling her "the Robert Horry of beer pong" You also kept telling her that she was hotter than her daughter.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Now some guy that's in my phone as " Alex lip ring hot" is texting me and I don't where life is taking me
Cleaning naked can be dangerous. Vacuum cord got stuck on my belly button ring...
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
Randomize
