I think i peed on brittanys purse
I feel like a panda just shit rainbows on my mind
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
We were sexting and at the end, instead of us having sex, he decided to put "we fell asleep in each others arms."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
she said "i got this" and then fell on her face. within grabbing distance of the wall and her boyfriend
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize