"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Dave used his AAA card to get my car towed to my house so I could get drunk. Evil genius.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
I never thought I'd say this but there's too many dicks around here.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
sexting just seems like too much work right now.
Randomize
