clearly I should have checked to see if he was an NRA member before I went back to his house and woke up in Heston's haven.
I'm going to but the new Playboy with Chelsea Handler on the cover. I'm pretty sure it's the only time buying a Playboy will make me gayer...
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Also, fighting a very strong urge to nickname your dick Whitey Bulger, at least for today.
I drank all the drinks. And jump off roof. Yay
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
