I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Just watched my roommate stuff a sandwich in his pocket because we're out of paper plates.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
I'm drinking with a guy who apparently blew my dog sitter.
When the sex is so good, you need three fans and have to chug a gallon of water after
Just once, I'd like to make it to my first wedding anniversary for a change.
Randomize
