i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
Right now, millions of people are waking up to get ready for work, start their day, and be productive members of society. I just found a 40 stashed in my fridge. I'm getting daybreak drunk. Zero fucks are given.
Isn't being unemployed beautiful sometimes?
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize