Some dude just bet me $8 I couldn't smoke a pack of cigarettes in an hour...It sounds stupid, but I really wanna do it. If I survive, I'll have $8 and it'll look good on my resume.
this bucketlist has just become an excuse for me to be slutty, and i'm not even ashamed
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Do you know what's great about Canada?..... There will always be a Tim Hortons on my walk of shame route
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
I'm pretty sure I broke my breathalyzer by breathing vaporized vodka into it.
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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