all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
You were dancing on the bar and fell off into the arms of the hot bartender. It was like a fairy tale, with more alcohol.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
The air was thick with penises
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
Randomize
