Define "chronic" masturbator.
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
You thought that you were playing full contact and started screaming "I will fucking end you! I will end you!" and tried tackling everyone in the room.
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
Drunk within and hour of coming home from work, merry christmas bitch
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