i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
does the new i-phone have a pregnancy test app?
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
I jerked him off and then punched him in the face for no reason. Typical evening drinking Sailor Jerry's.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
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