So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Now that I'm the boss, there's nobody to yell at me for smelling like a bar in the morning.
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I may have just serenaded the sadface couple sitting on a bench outside the dorm by singing Bye Bye Bye.
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
I was mid-sentence and you stopped me and said, "Yeah.. for my vaginas sake, I'm gonna need you to stop talking right now."
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
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