thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
My balls are so social today.
I just heard these 2 kids from flint and Detroit arguing over whose economy is worse... It's really sad what passes for competition in Michigan these days
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
You have set the bar insurmountably high with apple pie and buttsex.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
