She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
Nothing is better than seeing someone you fucked go to the Olympics. I feel so American.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
Look, sometimes you have to snapchat a topless photo of yourself in the middle of class just to prove you can. I can and I did. End of argument.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
He stopped the gas pump at 69 and gave me my receipt. He wants it.
Randomize
