Pappa wants mamma naked
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
When you called me you were telling a hobo that you couldn't spare ten bucks bc that was your beer money. All your words were slurred.
Fuck him.
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Randomize
