When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
do you ever get flashbacks of ppl you had sex with and just shudder at how gross they were/how drunk you were?
story of my life.
I found the perfect eye liner, it passed the blow job test, no smudging!!
Um...any recollection of peeing in the pantry
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
